My Children Are Destined For Failure

photo credit time.com

I thought I would be super-mom. I knew exactly what to do in order to ensure my children would be the smartest, prettiest, most well-behaved of them all.

Then I actually had kids.

And I caught myself screaming things like, “don’t make me beat your ass.” (P.S. I don’t actually beat my children. Per se.) Who knew kids required so much attention? Like when I’m eating dinner, they also want dinner. And don’t get me started on all the complaining about not having clean underwear. What little divas!

I now look at parents in the grocery store with a screaming kid with much less indignation. Instead, I just throw a knowing glance their way and a nod that says, “I feel your pain.”  It’s the perfect parents that freak me out now. And that’s not easy to admit considering I was a perfect mom – right up until my children were actually born.

“Helicopter parents”. They are involved in absolutely every aspect of their child’s life. Don’t like the baseball line up? Call the coach and put your child in a more favorable position. Don’t like the grade your kid got on their science project? Call the principal and tell them the teacher has it out for your kid. These parents are the ones that make me feel like both inferior and terrified at the same time.

Look, I’m not judging. I get it. They want the best for their kid and that’s awesome. We need more people actually parenting their children rather than being their friend. Can I get an amen?

But…how can children learn to deal with disappointment if they never face it? How can they learn to be better if everything they do is already “perfect”? Look, if I could prevent my kids’ tears of disappointment and frustration I would do it. However, when they’re 40 we’d all look a little silly if I went up to their boss or co-workers and demanded better treatment.

If I look at these helicopter parents, it looks like I’m setting my kids up for failure. While I am their biggest cheerleader and champion, I’m not going to demand special treatment for them. Are they special? Yes. Every other parent in the universe thinks their kids are special too. I’d prefer to think I’m setting my kids up for the real world. To deal with disappointment, adversity, and otherwise crappy situations with grace and dignity. To be productive adults who know how to cope in the real world.

Wait…that’s not failure at all.

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3 thoughts on “My Children Are Destined For Failure

  1. I have encountered some of these helicoptered kids as older teens and young adults. Some of them flounder when it comes time for any decision-making, and they need to look to their parents for guidance. Or they have an expectation of what the world owes them.

    It can be difficult as a parent to find the right balance between too much involvement and not enough, but if we want to raise capable children, we need to find it. Great post.

    • Thanks, Carrie. I definitely question if I’ve struck the right balance. The hard thing is not knowing if we have been successful with our approach until it’s too late. LOL! That sense of entitlement drives me crazy! That’s one thing I definitely don’t want my kids to have.

      • I think the fact you’re aware of it means you’re finding the right balance. And really, no matter how well we do, they’ll always find something to blame us for. Such is the circle of life. 🙂

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